Transformation.
The word strikes fear in the hearts of many. To transform means to find yourself in the new and unknown. Therefore, transformation is scary.
The prefix "trans" denotes going across, beyond or through. "Trans" is an active, forward, yet impermanent movement that implies willingness. Yet, when combining this prefix with the noun "form" (physical appearance, shape or presence), this movement finds a home, a new place to land and new way of becoming.
In order to transform, the snake must shed its scales, exposing the soft undergrowth of new skin. A seed, exposed to the proper elements, evolves into a tree. When physical transformation occurs, it's natural, happening almost unseen and certainly with only minor upset because the new form happens with no commitment or instinct.
The transformation I'm speaking about is emotional. It is a transformation toward self realization and personal growth. Transforming enough to heighten our awareness and compassion takes effort and commitment. It takes a willingness to enter the unknown forest of denied emotions. It takes fortitude to accept responsibility for our actions and look inward at the issues that make us defensive and uncomfortable. It takes quiet bravery.
As we shed our defensive skin to make way for a larger, truer self, we make ourselves vulnerable. Understanding this, forces us to have courage because we are willing to live uncomfortably while we accept change.
"A man or woman become fully human only by his or her choices and his or her commitment to them,"
writes existential therapist Rollo May. "People attain worth and dignity by the multitude of decisions they make from day to day."
Moving beyond our current state of pain and discomfort to a place of clarity takes effort. We spend years fortifying our defenses. We might not be able to find those hurts we have covered up unless we are willing to go deep for a long period of time. This may require finding a professional therapist who can walk that journey with you and create a safe container for you to be vulnerable in.
Many people are fearful that going deep may resurface old hurts and they won't be able to bear the intensity. What we forget is covering up old wounds and continuing unhealthy patterns of relating are hurting us worse and keep us repeating the same painful choices over and over.
"A choice confronts us," writes May. "Shall we, as we feel our foundations shaking, withdrawal in anxiety and panic?" No. Emotional transformation is just as necessary as physical transformation. Someone just forgot to put that into the life manual we were handed at birth. No growth is without its discomforts. The good news is, transformation also connotes a movement upward. The end result implies full formation and positive results. And that means growing closer to our true selves to find greater peace and freedom.
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